Lock In
For the past five years, one of the most meaningful titles I have carried is Coach. Coaching youth football is one of the most rewarding things I do, and there are two big reasons why.
First, I get to be involved in my sons Bennett’s and Carter’s lives on a level I would not otherwise experience. They get to see how deeply I care for them, but just as importantly, they get to watch me care for others. Football gives us real-life moments to talk about resilience, teamwork, attitude, responding to failure, being humble in victory, and being pragmatic in defeat.
These are not lessons I have to pull from a book. We get to experience them together, in real time, on the football field.
Second, my boys get to watch me pour into their peers without a salary, a title, or some kind of reward waiting at the end. They get to see the value of connecting with people and helping others simply because it matters and because it is what God calls us to do.
I know this season of life will not last forever. As they grow older, I will not always have this same access to their lives or the same opportunity to stand beside them as they learn these lessons. So I am soaking it in and putting everything I have into it right now.
The long nights from August 1 through November 1, when I am rarely home between 5:00 and 8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday, can be trying. There are nights when I am tired. There are nights when my family has to sacrifice. But I thank God for every second I get to do this work.
This year, I am the head coach of Carter’s pee-wee team, the Buy-Local Rebels. Our team is made up of first- and second-graders. For many of them, this is their first experience with any structured activity, let alone football.
As you can imagine, their attention comes in five- to ten-minute increments. Sometimes that is being generous. I have to make every minute count.
Before every practice and every game, I ask the players to place a finger on the side of their helmet and flip an imaginary switch. Once they flip that switch, they are locked in.
I yell, “Lock in, Rebels!”
They yell back, “Locked in!”
That is our signal. It means their eyes are up, their ears are open, and they are ready to give their full attention and effort to what is directly in front of them.
It is a simple routine for a group of six-, seven-, and eight-year-olds. But the longer we have done it, the more I have realized how much I need it too.
When Life Requires You to Lock In
I am going through a career transition I did not anticipate. There are mornings when doubts, fears, and apprehension get the best of me. There are moments when I question what comes next, whether I am doing enough, and why this chapter had to unfold the way it did.
In those moments, I turn to God. Then, sometimes literally, I put my finger to the side of my head and flip that imaginary switch.
It is my reminder to lock in.
Locking in does not mean pretending I am not afraid. It does not mean ignoring disappointment, forcing a smile, or acting as if everything is fine. It means recognizing what I am feeling without allowing that feeling to make every decision for me.
It means returning my attention to what I can control.
Through this transition, I have heard so many stories from people facing adversity of their own. Job loss. Illness. Grief. Financial pressure. Family struggles. Dreams that did not work out according to plan.
Adversity eventually finds all of us. None of us goes through life unscathed.
It is easy to stand on the outside of someone else’s struggle and tell them to stay positive, keep moving, or lock in. It is a whole different ball game when you are the one living it. When the disappointment is yours, the future feels uncertain, and getting out of bed requires more effort than anyone else can see, the inspirational phrases do not always hit the same way.
That is when locking in has to become more than a phrase.
It has to become a choice.
The pictures above capture different times in my life when I have had to truly lock in and face something difficult. Some of those challenges may be obvious from the photograph. Others are known only to me and my family. But I can vividly remember each moment, what we were experiencing, what I was carrying, and what it took to keep moving forward.
Looking back, I can see that locking in was rarely one dramatic decision. Most often, it was a series of small decisions made over and over again.
Get up.
Pray.
Show up.
Have the conversation.
Do the next right thing.
Repeat.
What Locking In Actually Looks Like
I am still walking through this chapter, so I am not writing from the finish line. These are not lessons delivered after everything worked out perfectly. They are reminders I am practicing right now.
1. Name What You Are Facing
You cannot face something honestly if you refuse to name it. Fear is real. Hurt is real. Anger, disappointment, and uncertainty are real. Locking in does not require us to deny those emotions. It requires us to keep them from taking control of the entire story.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can say is, “This is hard, and I am struggling.” Honesty is not weakness. It is the starting point for moving forward.
2. Focus on the Next Assignment
My pee-wee players do not need to understand the whole game at once. They need to know the next play, their assignment, and what to do when the ball is snapped.
Life can work the same way.
When the future feels overwhelming, narrow the field. Make the phone call. Submit the application. Ask for help. Take the walk. Send the apology. Have the hard conversation. Be fully present with your family for the next hour.
You do not have to solve the entire season today. You just have to be ready for the next play.
3. Control What Belongs to You
We cannot control every outcome, every opinion, or every decision made by someone else. We can control our preparation, our attitude, our effort, and how we treat people along the way.
That does not guarantee the outcome we want. It does, however, allow us to move through uncertainty without surrendering who we are.
4. Stay Connected
Football makes it obvious that nobody succeeds alone. Every player has an assignment, and every player depends on someone else doing theirs.
Adversity can tempt us to isolate ourselves. We may feel embarrassed, misunderstood, or tired of explaining what we are going through. But locking in does not mean shutting everyone out and carrying the weight alone. It means staying connected to God, family, friends, mentors, and the people willing to stand beside us.
Strength is not always found in doing more by yourself. Sometimes it is found in allowing others to help carry the load.
5. Keep Hope in the Huddle
Hope is not pretending the scoreboard says something it does not. Optimism is not ignoring reality. Both are choices to believe that the current moment does not get the final word.
Trusting God does not mean every path will be easy or every outcome will match the plan I had in mind. It means believing there is purpose even when I cannot yet see the full picture.
We all face challenges. We all experience setbacks. But I believe people who meet those moments with hope, optimism, humility, and trust in God can come through the other side stronger, wiser, and more grounded than they were going in.
Flip the Switch
Locking in is getting up and facing your fears when you absolutely do not want to.
It is being fully present in a room with people you may resent.
It is allowing yourself to live through the hurt when blocking it out would feel easier.
It is choosing discipline when motivation is nowhere to be found.
It is giving your family the best of you when the rest of life has taken a lot out of you.
It is trusting that God is still working, even in the chapters you never would have chosen for yourself.
I ask a group of young football players to flip that imaginary switch because they need a physical reminder that it is time to bring their attention back to the moment.
As it turns out, so do I.
Maybe you do too.
Whatever you are facing today, you do not have to pretend it is easy. You do not have to know exactly how the story ends. You only have to decide how you will meet the moment in front of you.
Put your finger to the side of your head.
Flip the switch.
Take a breath, trust God, and do the next right thing.
